I have high anxiety. My anxiety makes me feel like I’m standing of a cliff leaned too far over while I peer out to sea. There is all of the space below me and the ocean in front of me and it’s overwhelmingly beautiful and exciting and I want to explore it all and be a part of the greatness, but I’m too focused on the “what’s out there” to pay attention to where my feet are and how if the wind blows I will fall to the rocks below. It’s exhausting trying to keep my balance on the edge of the cliff, exhausting trying to keep my footing while leaning into the grandeur.
It prevents me from doing the meaningless tasks that are required to keep up life, because they don’t contribute to the “high” I get from thinking of all the awesome amazing things I wanna do or should do. And social media makes it so much worse. I struggle with accomplishing tasks at home because I get distracted by the bigger picture I see for myself. My relationship gets strained because of how overwhelmed I feel and then to add to the anxiety I feel guilty for not getting more done around the house.
It’s hard to remember in the midst of it all that there is someone bigger than it all and he stays on the solid part of the rock a decent pace back from the edge. And he wasn’t to help me get off the cliff and find a boat to explore those waters but I keep telling him I’m too busy or I’m not ready to step back yet.
God doesn’t give you more than you can handle and he Definitely doesn’t want you to live your life worrying or panicking over what’s out there. If you turn around and see he’s there always to lead you to the path to something better.
Trust me it doesn’t mean that I remember this for myself all the time, or even most of the time. I have made it my intention this year to work on leaning towards the grounding love of God.
Then It Doesn't 